On last night’s Idol from Paul:

 

I just had to transcribe it:

Paul: This is a love song that I wrote for Paula Abdul.

Randy: Wow.

Paula: Oh my God. Serenade.

Simon: Have you ever had really…

Paul {sings}

There is this girl I know

I follow her around

She hasn’t noticed me

It really gets me down

I broke into her house

When she wasn’t there

Took off all my clothes

And tried on her underwear

I’m always thinking of her

I really think that I love her

I’m not much of a talker

So I guess that I’ll just stalk her

And I’ll stalk her

If she were a doggie I would walk her

If she were a blackboard I would chalk her

If I were Columbo I’d Peter Falk her

But I’m not so I’ll just stalk her

If she were a fat {cross talk from Randy}

If I were a guy from Good Times I’d be Jimmy Walker

If she were a bathtub, I would caulk her

Randy: Have you been drinking?

Simon: Paul, Paul. I think you should leave.

Paul: You do?

Simon: Yeah. That was really creepy.

Randy: That was creepy man.

Simon: There’s something really disturbing about you.

Randy: Stalking, chalking,

Simon: Now seriously. I really want you to leave.

Paul: There’s a piano right out that door.

Simon {to security guards} Guys, can we ask this guy to leave?

Paula: {as security is escorting Paul out} Paul, nice meeting you. Thank you so much.

Paul: It was very nice meeting all of you thank you very much. It was a pleasure.

Simon {rolling eyes} Yeah, likewise.

Randy: That guy’s crazy.

video after the jump:

[flash http://www.youtube.com/v/NNcu2L1rP8Q&rel=1%5D

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